Dumpster Date

(Three)

It was dark and cold as I stood on the sidewalk around the back of the Safeway and watched packages of meat fly out of the dumpster and hit the asphalt with a thud. I could see Michael’s headlamp reflecting off of the metal dumpster walls as he rummaged around in there, completely immersed in both the giant dumpster and his task at hand. I had the much cleaner job of keeping an eye out for employees coming to dump more trash, ready to sound the alarm, and gathering what he threw onto the sidewalk to put in the car. I picked up fully packaged steak, ground beef, a pack of pre-made kabobs, another steak, a slightly crushed box of granola bars, and three blocks of nice cheese. Ranger was roaming around the area sniffing and peeing on the grass, ignoring me completely. Michael climbed out of the dumpster and came to meet me with his hands full of apples and slightly bruised tomatoes and a dented but sealed gallon of milk. 

“Dang! That’s a lot of food,” I said, excited to be doing something that felt a little dangerous but that in reality was just taking stuff out of the trash that was bound for the landfill. I had heard of the concept of dumpster diving; rescuing food from grocery store dumpsters that’s thrown out because it’s blemished, the packaging is damaged, or it’s met its arbitrary expiration date. But I hadn’t expected it to be quite so prolific. 

“We’re just getting started,” Michael grinned, the light from his headlamp temporarily blinding me as he gave me a friendly slap on the shoulder and whistled for Ranger to stop messing around and get back in the car. Ranger trotted over from around the corner and climbed in, still ignoring me but keeping his nose in the air as he got a delightful whiff of steak. 

Next we went to a small, high end grocery market where the dumpster was right outside the back door of the business. Michael climbed right in and started scavenging while I stood in the dark, again keeping an eye out. 

“Last time I was here an employee came out and I thought for sure he was going to yell at me, but then he said hold on, went back inside, and came out and passed me a box full of cheese!” Michael exclaimed delightedly as he stood in the dumpster and passed me multiple pre-made sandwiches, packaged chicken salad, some fruit salad, several containers of yogurt, and a big packaged cake. He lifted himself up and out and I couldn’t help but notice how graceful and agile he was as he moved, clearly a natural athlete. As we got back to his car he cracked open the cake and we ate it with our fingers and laughed at our good fortune. Ranger stuck his nose in our faces from the backseat and I let him lick a tiny taste of frosting from my fingers. I caught Michael watching us, “He doesn’t usually like other people,” he said, giving me a look I can’t quite describe before putting the lid on the cake and throwing the car into reverse. 

Next stop was Walmart, where they had normal sized garbage cans lined up outside for all their unsellable produce. I decided to participate this time, and opened a can to find it full to the top with whole watermelons. 

“Michael! Look at this!” I said, now really getting into the hunt. I was more enthused when I didn’t have to climb into a full sized dumpster, mainly because I was afraid I wouldn’t have the upper body strength to get myself out again. Last thing I wanted was to be discovered stuck in the bottom of a slimy dumpster, leaping and grasping for the rim as more trash came raining down on my head. But this was easy. We each grabbed a watermelon and checked the other bins. There was one full of tomatoes, another full of bananas, another full of discarded iceberg lettuce. So much food. And in Montana, where it’s cold nine months out of the year, it was like it was all still refrigerated. Just as I awkwardly closed the lid with one hand and cradled another watermelon in the other, two employees came out the back door.  

“Hey!” they shouted, “You can’t do that!”

We held onto our plunder and calmly walked back to the car and got in, but they followed us, cigarettes in hand, blue vests with name tags shining in the light from the street lamps, the man yelling and the woman pulling out her cell phone to take photos of our faces and the license plate. My face burned in embarrassment, as it felt like I just got caught shoplifting, or doing something unquestionably bad. But Michael said to them before closing his door, “Once something is deemed trash, it becomes public property, we’re not stealing and we’re not doing anything illegal.” They didn’t listen to a word he said but continued to bash our moral characters as we reversed the car and left the scene. 

We were both quiet for several minutes before I said, “That wasn’t illegal, was it?”

“No,” he said. “It’s only technically illegal if there’s ‘no trespassing’ signs, and there weren’t any signs so we’re okay.”

“Why do they care so much then? All of that food was just headed to rot in the landfill. And they work for like, the biggest corporation of all time that is definitely not as passionate about their low level employees’ wellbeing as those employees are about their trash. And it’s not like we were taking food they were going to donate!” I was getting flustered.

“I don’t know, people are weird about dumpster diving. It’s like they think that by eating waste we’re stealing, because we’re not going in there to spend money on the fresh food instead. Maybe they’re just pissed they don’t have balls to do it,” he said. 

“But we’re literally eating trash!” I said, still amazed by the employees’ passionate response. “If it’s just going to rot and we’re the ones putting ourselves at risk by eating food that is supposedly inedible… No, definitely not inedible, just unsellable for the giant corporation they work for… Whatever,” I sighed in frustration.

Michael shrugged and didn’t say anything while he merged onto the freeway that would lead us over the mountain pass and back to camp. I looked in the backseat and admired the pile of food that would feed all of us at camp for the next week.

“Want some more cake?” He asked, grinning wildly as the headlamp he forgot to turn off blinded me once again.